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The McIntyre Way™

monkey
First posted on the David Fickling Blog, 13 December 2012.

These days it's all about replication. I'll tell you something very few people know: Sarah McIntyre is actually four people. I'm one Sarah in a fleet of Sarahs:



Our parents always wanted a successful writer-illustrator in the family, and planned ahead. The magic number seems to be four, so they went to a certain clinic and did what they had to do, ensuring four identical children.



Growing up as a quadruplet was a struggle; all four of us knew we'd each need to forge our own path in publishing, but we fought like cats about who would get which role. Over time, we began to settle into the jobs that would suit us best. With all four of us working long hours, doing our own jobs, we can just about sustain one Sarah. But we manage just fine. Here's the breakdown:



Sarah McIntyre No. 1 does EVENTS. Sarah's of a rather didactic nature and enjoys inspiring children to learn. We don't need to feed her because she lives off school dinners, and she doesn't mind this because she adores turkey twizzlers. We don't need to worry about paying rent for her because she sleeps in the school loos. (We get away with this because security only check under the stall doors when they turn off the lights and she stands on the toilet until they go away.)



Sarah McIntyre No. 2 does BLOGGING and E-MAILING. Actually, this one's me. I'm a real techie, spend all my days chatting away with people online. I invest almost all the money we earn on our omputer equipment and software upgrades, but pasta and biscuits are cheap, so I get by. Not to brag, but I have a fancy boyfriend in a gaming world and he's done up our virtual flat beautifully. We might even hire a virtual cleaner for it one of these days.



Sarah McIntyre No. 3 does all of the ILLUSTRATING AND WRITING. This suits her well because she is shy and doesn't know what to say to people in crowds. She still lives with our parents and survives on instant coffee, with the occasional dose of electro-shock therapy to help her meet crucial deadlines.



Sarah McIntyre No. 4 is the PARTY GIRL. She's totally irresponsible, but she can chat up the hardest customer and wears great hats. She sleeps on night buses and sustains herself on nothing but canapés, which is undoubtedly a good thing, or how would she ever manage to fit into her party frocks?

Together, united under the name of Sarah McIntyre, we pose a formidable enough team to rival any other author. So anyone interested in publishing, our top tip is this: think ahead, make it a family business.

To learn more about THE MCINTYRE WAY™, ring our toll-free hotline 0800-GROW-AN-AUTHOR.

Comments

( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
theoclarke
Apr. 3rd, 2013 10:35 am (UTC)
You are very special. In a good way.
jabberworks
Apr. 3rd, 2013 12:06 pm (UTC)
Why thank you! (I'm assuming you mean me, Sarah No.2. The other three are slightly less special.)
mr_sadhead
Apr. 3rd, 2013 01:55 pm (UTC)
Schizophrenic? You're bloody Quadrophenic.
I met #4, I think, at the Alki Tavern that one time (RIP the Tavern, how I wish we could have one more Taco night there). I should have asked her to sing "Bell Boy".
jabberworks
Apr. 3rd, 2013 01:59 pm (UTC)
Re: Schizophrenic? You're bloody Quadrophenic.
Ah yes, she told me about meeting you! You made quite an impression. But I do not know of this song, Bell Boy, do tell! :D
mr_sadhead
Apr. 3rd, 2013 07:18 pm (UTC)
Re: Schizophrenic? You're bloody Quadrophenic.
Oh, you get the conceptual reference. Sarah 1 is Roger, Sarah 2 is John, Sarah 3 is Pete, and Sarah 4 is Keith.
simoneliadraws
Apr. 5th, 2013 08:42 am (UTC)
This is very funny! I always wondered how you did it, now we all know. The electro shock treatments are an essential must for any budding illustrator.
jabberworks
Apr. 5th, 2013 09:11 am (UTC)
Ha ha, hi, Simone! SO TRUE.
dlasky
Apr. 5th, 2013 08:10 pm (UTC)
Sarah, you're amazing -- I know I've told you that many times -- for all the festivals and public appearances you make. I wonder how you find the time to draw! My hope it that you become successful enough that you can hire a personal assistant who helps you with blogging and emailing and does the travel booking, etc. Because I want you to be able to draw more!

A friend of mine is a young adult author who is pretty successful. He appears in middle school classrooms via Skype! He told me there is a site where teachers can sign up for a time slot and he'll take a day out of his schedule and talk to classes all day. I don't know if I could do that myself! I'm not sure it would work for you, but I wanted to mention that it is something authors are doing. (He also said that inevitably they lose the connection in the middle of talking with him.)
(Anonymous)
Apr. 18th, 2013 03:37 am (UTC)
What publishers need today is a sense of vision combined with social conscience if childrens illustrated books are to become more digitalised. An old fashioned 'marriage" with their authors and illustrauors is only way of nurturing them and getting the best out of them. Lets make publishing the gentleman" s profession it once was and publishers will publish books not bricks that flood an even more saturated Market as the App Market is. Publishers must concentrate on promoting literacy in this new digital age or there will be hyper unemployment if children cannot read.
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )