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The McIntyre Way™

monkey
First posted on the David Fickling Blog, 13 December 2012.

These days it's all about replication. I'll tell you something very few people know: Sarah McIntyre is actually four people. I'm one Sarah in a fleet of Sarahs:



Our parents always wanted a successful writer-illustrator in the family, and planned ahead. The magic number seems to be four, so they went to a certain clinic and did what they had to do, ensuring four identical children.



Growing up as a quadruplet was a struggle; all four of us knew we'd each need to forge our own path in publishing, but we fought like cats about who would get which role. Over time, we began to settle into the jobs that would suit us best. With all four of us working long hours, doing our own jobs, we can just about sustain one Sarah. But we manage just fine. Here's the breakdown:



Sarah McIntyre No. 1 does EVENTS. Sarah's of a rather didactic nature and enjoys inspiring children to learn. We don't need to feed her because she lives off school dinners, and she doesn't mind this because she adores turkey twizzlers. We don't need to worry about paying rent for her because she sleeps in the school loos. (We get away with this because security only check under the stall doors when they turn off the lights and she stands on the toilet until they go away.)



Sarah McIntyre No. 2 does BLOGGING and E-MAILING. Actually, this one's me. I'm a real techie, spend all my days chatting away with people online. I invest almost all the money we earn on our omputer equipment and software upgrades, but pasta and biscuits are cheap, so I get by. Not to brag, but I have a fancy boyfriend in a gaming world and he's done up our virtual flat beautifully. We might even hire a virtual cleaner for it one of these days.



Sarah McIntyre No. 3 does all of the ILLUSTRATING AND WRITING. This suits her well because she is shy and doesn't know what to say to people in crowds. She still lives with our parents and survives on instant coffee, with the occasional dose of electro-shock therapy to help her meet crucial deadlines.



Sarah McIntyre No. 4 is the PARTY GIRL. She's totally irresponsible, but she can chat up the hardest customer and wears great hats. She sleeps on night buses and sustains herself on nothing but canapés, which is undoubtedly a good thing, or how would she ever manage to fit into her party frocks?

Together, united under the name of Sarah McIntyre, we pose a formidable enough team to rival any other author. So anyone interested in publishing, our top tip is this: think ahead, make it a family business.

To learn more about THE MCINTYRE WAY™, ring our toll-free hotline 0800-GROW-AN-AUTHOR.

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